I am a vibrant individual. Often seen jumping buildings and dropping chutes. I have been known to drive for hours only to end up in the same place. I travel the world donating hot tubs to underprivileged families. I write Pulitzer Prize winning blogs. Using only duct tape I built a car and drove it from Pennsylvania to California. I enjoy long walks on the beach. I once surfed Antarctica wearing only a bikini. I do double back flips on my dirt bike. I have a house in Arizona and I once defended it from a horde of swarming ants using only a shop vac and sticky tape. I skydive and bungee jump every Tuesday. I believe anything with an engine should be supercharged. I am accused of sandbagging everytime I play golf. I fly to Europe once a year for 1 day because I want the air miles. I have met Justin Timberlake and brought sexy back. Years ago I pumped gas and I believe the fumes gave me super human powers. I enjoy extreme snow shovel racing. I can do advanced algorithms without a piece of paper. My favorite place to sleep is the airport. I can hold my breath for 10 minutes. I am a private ciizen, yet I receive fan mail. I won the daily double but lost the ticket. I am extremely accurate with a bow and arrow. I make the impossible look easy, and the easy look impossibe. I am deadly with a violin. Ricky Bobby’s got nothing on me. I once took the same flight 3 times in one day. My precision with a needle and tread has won me world acclaim in knitting circles. When I am bored I bake prize winning bunt cakes. I am spontaneous, elusive, brilliant and can use a pressure washer. I give mechanical advice free of charge. I have performed at the Met. In my spare time I give stock picks to billionaires. I teach polka dancing. My hands are registered as a deadly weapon in all 50 states. I do 8 minute abs in 6 minutes. I am a presidential advisor. I once balanced the national budget before lunch. I can kick a soccer ball over 100 yards. I am able to read minds, predict the future and prevent the inevitable, so why am I only a skier?